Awaking a year..

Brilliance.. yes brilliance of somebody's thoughts had enabled them to see the difference in the every day and every night pattern to find out a year.. man at times was so sensitive to that change .. man was so close to nature once that he could feel her every pulse every hear her heart beat. Even though we must admit that man has lost his sensitivity long back to nature as well as to his fellow beings, he still rejoices in that change. That change that signifies a new cycle of the earth  and a new beginning for all beings on earth.When the pessimist in me grumbled and won over the optimist , i decided to give in to slumber before welcoming in the new year, but the ecstatic human race, with shrieks of joy, disturbed my slumber.For another one hour it went on and on and on. I lay there and wondered and form within there came a silent prayer to that creator who is the master designer, whose precession exhibits a sense of asymmetry but is so much symmetric. The prayer resounded so powerfully inside and masked out the noises. I had joined in with the rest of humanity  to awake the new year within me...

Life

Life was something that was lost...
life is something that was tried
to be found..
life i find is stuck..
some where in thoughts..
sometimes in tears..
most of the times in words..
Life it hurts..
it makes you bleed..
life sometimes heals..
why was i lost..
to be found!!!
why did i loose...
to have found...
alone sometimes..
in the chaose crowds..
life is what draws the breath out..
to make .. to destroy and to restore all
all that was lost..
all will be found...

Found contemplation

   I have thought, like many moments that I have thought about before, why is that man is in a state of mind that he know for certain that he doesn't want to be in ? Most of us don't like our selves, we hate the situations that we bring upon our selves we hate the things that we do and we hate the fact that we do nothing to change it.. but still why do we do it ? in my mind there is always an on going battle.. a battle between the things that i want to do and the things that i do in reality and in the end there is bewilderment of the fact that why am i repeating it over and over again when i don't want to ?? is it laziness ? or is it the subconscious mind ? i don't want to go on to interpret it.

lost contemplation..

            Its raining outside and the wind is whistling, now don't think that this is the starting of some wild romantic novel with the same repetitive phrases conjured together for an intro.. it is just the plain simple truth.. the truth of the very moment that is now. The only other noise in my room is that of the fan and that too suddenly ceases as the light goes out, but as one tries to come in terms with the darkness that encompasses, the light burst into life and everything is all well and fine as if nothing happened. I personally  prefer darkness to light. May be because some how i found out a tremendous comfort in being in the dark. Truth is perhaps like light to me, so sudden an disillusionment. Some where far away i can hear the siren of a ship which has passed by or come into or left the Maramagoa  port, the only cloying sound is that of false laughter that is derived from a sole purpose of revenge to break that state of mind and to intrude... all these hurdles have to be overcome to come to the bliss of non attachment just like the ship that reaches the shores from the roughened seas. i sometimes wonder, how the most simple things in life are so hard to come by, were as people keep struggling to achieve so many complex things. It is like my brain refuses to bulge at the basic arithmetical problems but comprehends the much complex paradoxes.. hmm that is interesting. Perhaps it is not only my handicap but that of the whole human race. I really enjoyed watching a documentary on mahas computer about the great Indian railways and the bombay rail, but then i realized that somewhere along the way the documentary really missed the whole point and was being staged just like a drama, where dialogues are there but the emotions and the truths are really being twisted and presented. "Away we go" the film in which i have already forgot the character names the younger sister tells the older sister -" Sister you got lucky" and i think that particular dialogue is so very true and a hard slap on the face, to get a caring and loving partner is so very hard, that to love for the sake of loving is so different from the loving at what ever sake. This realization that has come to me is still very bitter to digest. Cross my heart and hope to die... my loved ones may always and for ever be loved.. amen

Henry David Thoreau

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived … I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms..."