Its raining outside and the wind is whistling, now don't think that this is the starting of some wild romantic novel with the same repetitive phrases conjured together for an intro.. it is just the plain simple truth.. the truth of the very moment that is now. The only other noise in my room is that of the fan and that too suddenly ceases as the light goes out, but as one tries to come in terms with the darkness that encompasses, the light burst into life and everything is all well and fine as if nothing happened. I personally prefer darkness to light. May be because some how i found out a tremendous comfort in being in the dark. Truth is perhaps like light to me, so sudden an disillusionment. Some where far away i can hear the siren of a ship which has passed by or come into or left the Maramagoa port, the only cloying sound is that of false laughter that is derived from a sole purpose of revenge to break that state of mind and to intrude... all these hurdles have to be overcome to come to the bliss of non attachment just like the ship that reaches the shores from the roughened seas. i sometimes wonder, how the most simple things in life are so hard to come by, were as people keep struggling to achieve so many complex things. It is like my brain refuses to bulge at the basic arithmetical problems but comprehends the much complex paradoxes.. hmm that is interesting. Perhaps it is not only my handicap but that of the whole human race. I really enjoyed watching a documentary on mahas computer about the great Indian railways and the bombay rail, but then i realized that somewhere along the way the documentary really missed the whole point and was being staged just like a drama, where dialogues are there but the emotions and the truths are really being twisted and presented. "Away we go" the film in which i have already forgot the character names the younger sister tells the older sister -" Sister you got lucky" and i think that particular dialogue is so very true and a hard slap on the face, to get a caring and loving partner is so very hard, that to love for the sake of loving is so different from the loving at what ever sake. This realization that has come to me is still very bitter to digest. Cross my heart and hope to die... my loved ones may always and for ever be loved.. amen
