I DO NOT KNOW

Have you stood and stared at life ?? yes i have. At the one person who I loved more than everything, who was everything to me. For whom I had left every one hurt everyone, my parents my brother my best friends, and had to drag myself up and try and be strong for the betrayal that he did to me and my love  that he had taken for granted. I was willing to risk everything for him in the hope that tomorrow will be different.  That he would be willing to change and he would love me really as he often claimed that he did. Even when his frequent "I dont knows" shattered me into a million pieces and broke my self respect and self confidence.. I tried to hold on. Inspire myself and console myself.

I will come back my love

The waves of the ocean beg her to forgive
its deceiving with the wind..
"forgive my subtle nature"
and the inconsistency of the wind..
I know that for always
I will remain for ever yours
but still the wind tickles me off my senses
into following him on..
But i know each heart beat of
my pulsating self will remain yours
I will come back to you my love
I will come back to you ... for sure..

Dear friend- January 2009

Fate manipulated me with her hands
and threw my soul in the dungeon of mistrust
Bounded by the iron rallying of greed
still the heart yearns for the
spring of your friendship..
I can bare the indifference my friend
but unbearable is pain of attachment my dear
Thousand times have i been warned
and yet thousand times i will repeat
the same crimes for which i am tortured..