And my heart is so full of pain again.. yes again.. and I realize that my days of disillusion haven't worn away. How is it that some thing you truly believe turn so bitter ? or are we all stupid in hoping that there is a fairy tale in all our lives and yes one day that will happen and we will be the lucky ones? or is it expectation . it can be that too. Just because I feel something I prefer to be in the illusion that the other person is feeling the same thing too. That's the first mistake we assume, take it for granted that the feeling that we share are mutual and that its the same. That is so not true. Every person feels a different thing for the same situation and as we experience it we try to generalize it like everything that we do. When we are in love it blinds us. It makes us not see what the other person is going through. And then when something doesn't work out it sends us searching all over what and where it went wrong.It takes a long time for us to realize that our partner had an all new experience for themselves that was different than ours and may be we were blind to the doubts, agonies and fears in their mind. When love would have grown and blossomed in our hearts so must have fear in theirs and then our mutual worlds come crashing down. Then all that is left is pain. Then we go about with our lifes carrying it. Blaming it for the bad, un trusty, cynical person that it has turned us into. We take it out on some one else , who deserves a lot better behavior from us...
But then wait a minute, its exactly here that I wanna differ. Why cant we be happy that love has exposed so much good in us. It has enabled us to love some one else selflessly and has given beautiful memories. Why do we wanna take all that and turn it into something bitter. So what was it that was broken? what was untrue was the concept that we had in mind, what was untrue was the illusion that we thought to be real.. but what was true is each and every moment that we felt with that person.. our feelings of warmth and selflessness was true it was genuine It should be something that should make us a better person right?? Love is always ours.. It makes us better people.. In thoes fragile moments of total belief there are seconds that are earnest . there is magic that makes us more than cosmic particles from distant stars.. I know I am a better person today than i was yesterday.. and I know that its a part of you that you left with me that made me so.. there is pain in my heart.. but I am grateful for it...
